Excuse my frailty; I have to engage in a moment of gratuitous narcissism. This book is really annoying me.
Unfortunately, it’s not even one where I can say, “have you read it?” and we can commiserate over it. It’s my own ruddy project.
But perhaps later, after it has covers on, you can complain to me about it and I’ll sympathize with you about the idiot that wrote it.
Mucho Problemo Inmaturo
For the last four and a half months, I’ve been in heavy revisions of a 100,000 word project. It has threefold problems, or I should say the idiot writing it does:
1) I began it years ago, before I had the craftsmanship skills to write it effectively.
2) I began it before I had sufficient emotional maturity.
3) I began it before I had sufficient philosophical perspective.
So that’s a lot of renovating. Approximately four hundred pages’ worth.
Ergo I Annoy Others
I had hoped to conclude the heavy redrafting by the end of January, take a breather and make a polishing pass, as it needs to be done by April at latest. Since that didn’t happen, I’ve become obsessive, reclusive and even more obsessive.
Endings do that to me. My poor colleague suffered through this mania last summer on our co-authored project.
Somebody Needs to Make the Whining Stop
I believe it’s because there’s so much unfinished in my life. I never finished my music degree. I never finished the major orchestral work I wanted to write by age thirty. I never really finished the finishing touches on our home renovations. I’m not finished living, dammit, and this thing, this blasted rat’s nest of words and ideas, is interfering with that!
And as for educating and cleaning up after the children, well, the word “finished” just means “time to start over again.” New This Week! With Germs!
Oh, woe is me. First-world problems.
But This is Good, Right?
So, let me pause to count my blessings:
1) A husband who wants me to finish this, for my own sake, even though it means definite side effects for our family and marriage time. Bless his sweet heart. He even brings me chocolate.
2) A writing partner who insists on waiting for me and emailing me regular encouragements: “Write a great scene today, okay?” You can’t buy friends like that, you know.
3) The experienced professionals who’ve bolstered me with clear-eyed evaluations and notes of encouragement.
4) A new set of great earbuds to help me tune the world out.
5) The understanding and independence of my children. One of whom just wandered through in a monkey hat to show me some fantabulous portrait sketching she’s been working on. (Monkey hat! I’m raising them right.)
6) Random people who feed me in front of my computer. I think they live here.
7) Oh! And lunch. I like lunch.
However. This book?
It’s still annoying me.