Well, we finally did it: A full week away, just the two of us, in the Montana mountains. Conclusion: Yes, it’s more fun when you’re not a silly nineteen-year-old anymore.

Also, I still don’t understand love. I just know it works…so what else is there to understand?

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Are We There Yet

Dave: “Wow, there’s a lot of nothing in North Dakota, look at that. Hey, a train! These people own a lot of Subarus. Are you seriously going to start this trip with a nap? We just got up two hours ago.”

Cat: “Are you done talking yet? Let me know.”

Dave: “Nope! Come on, we’re finally on a real honeymoon. We’ve been waiting seventeen years for this. We can actually have an uninterrupted conversation!”

Cat: “About inane things?”

Dave: “It’s stuff!“

Cat (leaning seat back, closing eyes): “Alright then…have at ye.”

Dave: “You’re an ass. Don’t ever let your friends convince you otherwise.”

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When Canadians go Sightseeing

Dave: “Check it out! There’s even more up the hill. You wanna go look?”

Cat (grabbing camera bag): “Cool, let’s go.”

Dave: “About time. You SLEPT through the mountains. North Dakota I can understand, but the mountains!?”

Cat: “Yeah, but they’ll be there all week.”

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Cat: “Hey, look! The trees have moss on them like in the south, but they also have snow. Can you spin the car around like an action hero so I can take a picture?”

Dave: “Sure thing, babe.”

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Dave: “Hmmmm….that feels like a sailing wind.”

Cat: “I was thinking the same thing.”

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Nurturing the Marriage

Cat: “Tell me something interpersonal.”

Dave: “Okay. I know it’s a thing with you, but I just don’t get it. How can you argue with people for the fun of it?”

Cat: “Watch…”

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Dave: “Hey, turn around.”

Cat: “What?”

Dave: “Click!”

Cat: “Stop it!”

Cat: “Augh! Are you taking my picture again?”

Dave: “No, I wanted a picture of my car.”

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Eet eez love. Mwah, mwah, mwah.

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Cat: “So you still like me after all this time?”

Dave: “I’m a good actor.”

Cat: “That’s great. Thanks.”

Dave: “I’m hoping to get the award for hottest love scene.”

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Practicing for the Retirement Years

Cat: “Did you get woken up by those ruddy neighbours slamming the door at midnight yet again? Insane.”

Dave (through gritted teeth): “Yes.”

Cat (follows Dave out of condo for early morning walk): “Oh, look! I just closed the door like a neighbour.”

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Cat (on the phone to daughter): “I’ll send you some pictures. We’ve seen a lot of stuff already.”

Dave (raises voice): “Well, some of us have. She slept through the mountains!“

Cat: “And he’s never going to get over it.”

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Quid Pro Quo

Dave: “I really enjoyed you this week. I didn’t even think once about selling you on the internet.”

Cat: “Excuse me? You’ve tried to sell me on the internet?”

Dave: “Nahhh….no takers.”

Cat: “Wow, and I’m an ass?”

Dave (smiling sweetly): “It must have been because of the multimillion dollar price tag I put on you.”

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It’s Like “I Spy,” But For Old Married People

Dave: “…It’s called the Pan-American Highway. I’d love to drive that.”

Cat: “Go right ahead. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Dave: “It’s more than a few weeks.”

Cat: “Fine. Then I’ll see you in a few months. I am NOT driving all the way to South America.”

Dave: “Fine. If you die first, I’m driving that highway.”

Cat (shrugs): “Okay. If you die first, I’m going to Bulgaria.”

Dave: “Bulgaria!?”

Cat: “Yes. I’ve had this planned out for awhile, actually.”

Dave: “Oh, really? Well, then. If you die first…”

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Strategic Vagrancy: It Could Work

Dave: “So? What did you think of the week?”

Cat: “It was fun. We’re going to have a great time when the kids are all gone. Oh! Can we retire and run away together like right now?”

Dave: “Yes, but we’ll have no place to live and nothing to eat.”

Cat: “We could scavenge.”

Dave: “No thank you. So, where am I taking you next year?”

Cat: “Wherever you want, as long as it’s with you.”