he lines blur between the story of my life and the words upon a page. I referenced Kafka of a morning’s vignette, then found him later with new acquaintances. Is it indeed all random and meaningless, or are there threads of story weaving through our lives?
Sighting the existence of evil shouldn’t urge us headlong into complicity, snarling and snipping the threads of the tale. Senseless is not meaningless. Senseless is our inability to sense the greater theme, though we extend ourselves to the fullest capacities of reason. But there is more than one organ of awareness with which to perceive life.
I realized the other day that at the worst moments of my life, a dear friend was going through some of the best of his. To know that this contrast existed, and that we later met to find one another both under the Lord’s redemption, changed my retrospective. Not just any good was lighting a corner of the earth; not just any corner. A corner which has become ours, a good which is shared between us in fellowship. These two stories and their contrasts are now one in their harmonies.
The peace of this thought doesn’t require assigned meaning; only that there is meaning. There is a pace and rhythm to events which we cannot comprehend, though we defeat the whole universe through the regulation and refinement of reason. I see the contrast and its beauty, the good all the clearer for the senseless evil. Good being self-existent, it has no need for that duality; but we are the only creatures who see meaninglessness. In our darkness, we understand infinity by finity; sinlessness by sin. We see meaninglessness because we are wistful in our rationality, a deeply meaningful emotion — wistful for freedom.
Shall I then play the fool by tearing pages from the book? These dire and desperate things — the gentle pacing of the plot, the senseless wretchedness — they are made for the awareness of the heart. Sense will be made of it later. To say there is no God, no story, no hint of theme or metaphor to life, just because evil is found — that would be to attempt a book-burning.
Rather, let us read the story, and see just where it leads.
I too have been noting the patterns and rends and signs that there IS a purpose to it all. Every time I think “what good can this possibly do” I experience yet another pattern or thread, someone else in a similar place or a juxtaposition that makes me see beyond my own small point of view. It may not seem good or “for the good” but it IS for the good or will work out so that it will be for the good of someone else.
And a good story is NOT a good story if there is no evil or darkness within. Which is funny because I was just over at The Rabbit Room where there is an article about the book that Issac-boo fell in love with, the first book ever that he has asked me to read aloud to him and keeps asking for “just one more chapter”. (He loves hidey holes, hidden drawers, and cupboards and the idea of 100 Cupboards is just too enticing for him. And that book is the perfect example of why you need darkness AND light, the dark is so dark that it makes the light so much lighter.
“The peace of this thought doesn’t require assigned meaning;”
No, it doesn’t, but I’ll offer one anyway: though evil is truly evil, this shows ultimately it functions as part of the good. Not straying into Reason, but Reason does the heart good, mine anyway, Chesterton’s warning against seeking pure reason alone duly noted.
In light of this post, I’m going to have to re-echo (is there such a thing?) Grace’s comment that you’re cementing your reputation as a writer in a class of your own. And that’s true, whether it fits with your beloved set theory or not
@Heather
“I too have been noting the patterns and rends and signs that there IS a purpose to it all.”
I am so glad to hear you say this, dear, given everything you’ve experienced in the last few months. God isn’t finished with us yet…”faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” (1 Thess. 5:24)
“keeps asking for “just one more chapter”. ”
Aw, sweet! I haven’t heard of 100 Cupboards before. We’ll have to look it up. If Issac-boo likes it, I suspect our Mr. Boo will too.
@Quixote
“No, it doesn’t, but I’ll offer one anyway”
…but of course you will…
“Reason does the heart good, mine anyway, Chesterton’s warning against seeking pure reason alone duly noted.”
That would be one of those odd points of trivia where we part ways in our pragmatics. Call me a girl, or at least a former non-theist; I spent too much time repressing my heart with reason, and it does me good to be free to feel in completely unreasonable ways at times, irrespective of the greater picture. An interesting difference to note in considering the long-term effects of one’s personal philosophy on one’s way of living.
“re-echo (is there such a thing?)”
Absolutely, city-dweller. You may just live in the wrong place to hear it. And thanks, the feedback’s much appreciated.
Paul has a simple expression. He calls it “catching life in the act of rhyming”. It’s one way God lures us forth and keeps us trusting, letting us see traces of a pattern, hints of purpose peeking from the random.
Lovely thoughts.
BTW the discussion of reason and emotion brought this to mind:
“catching life in the act of rhyming”
I love that.
LOL “Remember, we are a lady.”
“I don’t want to be a lady! I want a club sandwich!!”
There’s some truth for ya.