It may be a one-man club. He needs no help.
Dave and I went over Prov. 31 the other night, after Scienda’s Pearl/child death article ran, and I explained to him that I realized I can’t hear that passage in its biblical voice — it’s cluttered with extremist presuppositions for me, things picked up over years of reading blogs, being in conversations, etc. I really need to dig in and study it clean.
One of the key themes of those presuppositions revolves around how, if the wife is truly excellent, the husband will be able to succeed because she’s worked hard enough to not impede him. She exists for his gain, does him good and not evil all the days of his life (read: does what he wants/everything she does belongs to him), he sits in the gates among the city elders because she hasn’t dishonoured him, etc.
“So, basically, if he’s a loser, it’s because she hasn’t worked hard enough,” Dave said. “That’s so lame! If I’m going to be a deadbeat, I’m going to do it on my own initiative!”
That was the whoosh of a cape passing by…
And, may I add, that I will take all the credit for it as well!!!
Of course. It would be prideful and rebellious of me to take any credit for your initiative and success…
Just found your site the other day and decided to keep coming back.
Funny, when I read Prov. 31 I always see a family-minded career woman who’s husband and children are proud of her for her industry, creativity, and accomplishments. The things women do with that chapter baffle me.
Hey, Laurie, welcome here!
Agreed, it’s a very independent-minded woman. I was telling Dave that when I read it at face value, “belts for the tradesmen” puts me in mind of a woman with the skills and chutzpah to negotiate successfully with all kinds of marketplace scheisters.
And whereas it could be taken that her husband sits in the gates because she’s managed his affairs so successfully that he can reach those heights without impediment, I think it could also be pointed out that this chick chose her life partner for qualities of wisdom and justice.
On the other hand, if I don’t work at reading it as it stands, I do just find it a baffling element of conservative Christian culture…
I remember reading the blog of a young lady once, who, commenting on this chapter, resolved that she needed to sew more of her own clothes. Something tells me she missed the point (and, knowing her, she was looking for an excuse to do more sewing).
I get what you’re saying. I actually have thought of writing something more in depth about this Proverbs woman. Whenever I read it, I seem to see something entirely different from what all the church gals think.
First thing – this is the advice from the mother of a man who would be king, telling him what kind of woman to look for. Hmm. What kind of woman would a king likely end up with? A flashy, demanding harem type maybe? Expecting to be served? Or maybe just a name-only political match? I don’t know. Just guessing. Just as you say, “this chick chose her life partner for qualities of wisdom and justice.” I would say he chose her for the same reasons. This is as equal a relationship as I think anyone had ever heard of in those times – and maybe even now – if people would just take the trouble to factor in the cultural equivalencies.
But, here’s a wealthy woman, with serving girls to run things while she heads off to do her business. She could just be a “stay-at-home” mom. But she isn’t. She is well-organized, assuring everyone and everything is properly tended to. She brings home good things for her family – her heart is for them. She respects her husband, and he respects her. He sits at the gate because she makes him look good – in the sense that she doesn’t squander her wealth and status on frivolous and superficial, or even scandalous living. She doesn’t treat him disrespectfully – but neither does he treat her that way. I think the public respect she brings him is along the lines of, “He must be some kind of guy, to have such an amazing wife!” (Really, who takes a man with a silly “trophy” of a wife seriously? It takes a strong man to have a strong relationship with a strong woman.)
I, for one, am a very blessed woman. I have a husband who delights in my every achievement, as if it were his own. He would gladly help me continue my education, if we could afford it. He listens to my thoughts and opinions and values them more highly than anyone else’s. He considers me his equal, and we would do anything for each other. Perhaps my own experience colors my view of the Proverbs woman, but even so I think that was a very radical bit of literature in it’s day.
“Something tells me she missed the point (and, knowing her, she was looking for an excuse to do more sewing).”
Yep…that kinda thing. There’s an entire cottage industry built around the “modest dress”/home sewing fad. Nothing wrong with that, if it’s what turns a family’s crank, but it’s cultural, not Scriptural. As for me and my house, we’ll stick to our jeans and farm shirts all round.
Yeah, I think if you wrote on this passage, I’d read it…great commentary!
I realized after the fact that you’re the Laurie who writes Beauty for Ashes. Cool! I just found you the other day too. Thanks for saying hi! I’m often kinda shy that way, much though the boys tease me about wearing “wallflower camo.”
Me, I’ll settle for my lady not hanging onto my sword arm (it’s even worse when you’re trying to keyboard–just when did that noun become a verb anyway?).
Nothing like a classic soldier to keep things in perspective.
I’d wager not even Quixote has a sword arm.
“keyboard”
About the same time as “kthxbai” became a common parting benediction…